All right, there’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time now. TTJ even mentioned it the last time I gave him a ride somewhere, saying that he thought I had made a resolution to do it sometime in the past. But I’ve avoided making a formal announcement because I didn’t want to be held accountable.
I’m going to become a less aggressive driver.
A few days ago, I realized that if I were on a date and the guy was driving the way I do (weaving in and out of traffic [sometimes leaving only inches to spare], cutting people off, tailgating, flashing my lights, internally swearing, tapping my brakes when someone is tailgating me just to piss them off [it works]), I would think he had some SERIOUS anger management issues and be completely repulsed.
And I would be right. About the anger management issues, anyway. I’ve noticed before that my default reaction to almost any event is to become irritated (or even enraged), and I have a furious need for everyone to not only pay attention to me but also acknowledge my superiority in whatever activity we’re engaged in (something that is not possible if we are candlepin bowling, because BOY do I suck). And I am always in a hurry – I want things done MY way, NOW. But why*? Does it really matter if I arrive somewhere 30 seconds later? And does it really matter if someone puts the apples on a different shelf?
Of course not. And it’s a lot less stressful to be calm and in control than furious and out of it. I’m trying to drain the anger out of my life; although the aggressive driving is just a symptom of the problem, at least this is one concrete way I can work on overcoming it.
*I actually know the answers to the “why” questions; they’re in my offline journal, where nobody but me can read them. 🙂