I am a Death Star whose small but fatal vulnerability has been exploited via photon torpedoes.

I am a Democrat-sponsored climate change bill at the desk of George W. Bush.

I am the remains of a bachelor-party cake.

I am a Windows computer after 13 unprotected seconds on the Internet.

I am Jell-o in the hands of a toddler.

I am Darla’s most recent tropical fish.

I am forgiveness and understanding as practiced by Nero the Romulan.

I am the underside of a junior high school desk.

I am a missionary-driven automobile in Paraguay.

I am San Francisco on April 19, 1906.


I am feeling much better after writing this. 🙂 Happy thoughts still appreciated though.

10 thoughts on “SOS

  1. Well, if nothing else, you got some GREAT metaphors out of the deal.

    And another hug from me.

  2. I’m sure there are lots of wonderful, imaginative things I could reply, but my brain is freezer-burned right now (but at least the freezer is cleaned out!) After all, you are a sparkling jewel in my life, and the product of years of refining experiences (not to mention generations of in-breeding, if your dad is right and he and I are actually some kind of cousins)

  3. Jenny, thanks for the hug!

    Mom, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be inbred with.

  4. please remember all the love out there for you.

    and please remember that the Death Star was destroyed by proton torpedoes.

  5. OMIGOSH JOANNE, I LOVE YOU! The article was fantastic, and the Swedish Chef vs. the turtle just made my week. OH how I loves me sum o dat Swedish Chef.

    Still laughing…

  6. Sorry you’re feeling so on the verge. Sending happy thoughts your way!

    (Even though I first saw it on a fairly bad date, Finding Nemo rocks)

  7. I’m going to St. Petersburg for the summer to study at SPSU. Sorry you haven’t heard from me in a while. In my defense, you are cool and I’m not and class struggle must be upheld (different from class erasure, as it turns out). And you don’t have to honk if you love Kraft Ranch, but I do, because I do whatever anything official-looking tells me to do because that’s the kind of class I’m in.

    Perhaps I’ve spent too much time in the “class” room over the last year. I’ll be happy to get out and see the world again. I hope you had a good experience in Moscow when you went. I can’t wait to see it myself. And by the way, I think you are like clear Jell-o in the hands of an orphan who has never held or tasted Jell-o and stands wide-eyed and mesmerized by the shape of what he supposes to be water, careful not to disrupt the magic that separates the water in his hands from the water on the ground.

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