Henceforth let it be known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people:

That I, the indomitable FishieFishies, am hereby an official Young Adult;

That I am hereby NOT yet an official Mature Adult;

That Young Adults are old enough to not have to eat the foods they didn’t want to eat as children but are yet young enough not to need the “healthy” foods that Mature Adults require;

That All-Bran in all its forms and flavors comprises a Mature Adult “healthy” food;

That I am thus absolved of the duty to consume All-Bran in any shape, form, or fashion, with or without milk and/or various flavored yogurts;

That this absolution shall stand until I am a Mature Adult, by which time miracles of science will have rendered unnecessary these foods; and

That this proclamation shall stand as a witness to the world of the aforementioned absolution, henceforth and forever, amen and amen.

Signèd and sealèd this Fifteenth day of July, 2010, whereof ye are all witnesses.

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